Monday 08/11/10

BLACK CAB QUOTES PROUDLY PRESENTS JEFF AND GLEN

“Mr cab driver, I’ve got zero to offer, but normally I’ve got so much to say.”

“Life is only the beginning. Don’t get held up at the end – enjoy the journey.”

Steve (the above two)

“You get what you get, and you don’t get upset.”

Connie, Mother, Chicago

“The second mouse gets the cheese.”

Alan, Programmer, Australia,

“My wife never knew I drunk till I came home sober one night.”

“My wife said to me, I fancy going somewhere different, I said try the kitchen!”

“It’s never over, cos there’s always something around the corner.”

Jeff  & Glen, East London (the above three)

Friday 05/11/10

“If you sleep with dogs, you’ll wake up with fleas.” Ashanti proverb

My religion is simple. My religion is kindness.” Dalai Lama

Kobi, Crerative Director (the above two)

“If you want to achieve in life you have to believe in yourself.”

“In tough times, think of other people.”

Arthur L (the above two)

“Always pack flat shoes.”

Debs, Senior PA

“What do you mean it’s £15 & £4 a pint,

What you meant was £15 and £8 for a pint of non alcoholic beer.

There are two girls down there and they look like dead dogs !!

Give me back my f**king money.”

“NO REFUNDS.”

Anonymous

Thursday 04/11/10

With his legs stretched out and his feet supported by his suit case, Kelvin joyfully gets on with the job in hand!

“There is no right or wrong – only differences.”

Kelvin L, Marketing Manager, London & Singapore

“Go n-eirl an bothair leat” – Irish for “May the road ride with you.”

Niamh, Lawyer

“You ever noticed how people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together..? I believe god created me in one day. Yeah looks like he rushed it. Bill Hicks, comic, writer RIP

Anonymous

“My father said there are two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better.”

Sally F, Publisher

A Three year old boy is examining his testicles whilst taking a bath “Mum” he asked,  “are these my brains?”  “Not yet” she replied.

Anonymous, Magazine Editor

Wednesday 03/11/10

“You’re not made of sugar are you?”

Hiske, HollandThis is a Dutch phrase which is directed at someone who complains about rain…

“English is a funny language; that explains why we park our car on the driveway and drive our car on the parkway.”

Mathew Reeney,  Language school teacher http://www.londonsol.com/

“Victory attained by violence is tantamount to defeat, for it is momentary.” Mahatma Ghandi

Anonymous

“I’m dating two anorexics at the moment, two birds, one stone.”

David Gibson, Comedian

Tuesday 02/11/10

“Your friends are your family of choice.”

Wendy

“Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a f**king big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of f**king fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit- crushing game shows, stuffing f**king junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, f**ked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life…But why would I want to do a thing like that?” Extract fromTrainspotting (1996 movie)

James D, Banking

“I bought a book on procrastination, but I haven’t got around to reading it.”

Richard, Composer

Monday 01/11/10

DO YOU HAVE THE MONDAY BLUES?

“The most interesting people have a lot of baggage, don’t they?”

Annie

I shall not pass this way again…

“I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good thing,
therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to any fellow human being let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”  Stephen Grellet, French-born Quaker Minister

William, Semi Retired

“Life will be worthwhile if you just smile.”

Anonymous

“I live my life in the city and there’s no easy way out.”

Paul, Hard working City Worker…

Friday 22/10/10

Helen & Derrick Helen and Derrick

“Smile and the world smiles with you, frown and you frown alone.”

Helen, Derrick and co

“Seeing is believing” – Chinese history

Takuya, Japan

“Live life to the max by appreciating the little things in life.”

Maz, Pakistan

“I don’t want any steady Eddies or cautious Carols.” Lord Alan Sugar

Imagne if someone said …but my name is Carol Eddy!

Anonymous

Thursday 21/10/10

“Always believe your instincts, and you will fulfil your goals in life.”

Caroline, Ecuador

“Friendship is the best gift that you could have.”

Jessica, Aged 10, Edinburgh

“I Told you I was ill.” Spike Milligans headstone..

Gabriel, London

“I just love people, especially hard working people that make your dreams reality.”

“Always tell the truth, that way you never have to remember what you say!!”

Geno, Chef (the above two)

“A taxi meter stops for no man…!!”

Ed, Violin Maker ( whose mate forced the taxi to stop so he could get out and vomit )

Wednesday 20/10/10

“One team, one dream!”

“Fresh eyes.”

“Check yourself, before you wreck yourself.”

Anonymous

“Never say never – anything is possible.”

“If a tree falls in the forest, and nobody’s around to hear it, does it still make a sound?”

Sophie, W4 (the above two)

“To thine own self be true,

And it must follow, as the night the day,

Thou can’t not be false to any man.” Polonius in Shakespeare’s Hamlet

Polly

“If it was up your ass, you’d know.”

Kenneth, Oklahoma, Rugby coach

“Old friends go on forever.”

“Take us home.”

Trish & Ruth (the above two)